Mission Imponderable

"NASA Administrator Charles Bolden said in a recent interview that his 'foremost' mission as the head of America's space exploration agency is to improve relations with the Muslim world."


What a fabulous idea! We here in Chelm have come up with a number of specific ways by which Bolden could fulfill this mission:

• Figure out how female astronauts can get into a spacesuit while wearing a burqa
  
• Keep the acronym for the agency but change what it stands for to, "Need Allah-Serving Astronauts"
  
• Prove that the Kaaba Stone is not in fact a meteorite but actually emanates from heaven
  
• Use the Hubble Space Telescope to locate the endless supply of virgins awaiting pious suicide-murderers
  
• Repurpose the "Star Wars" system to target and instantly destroy any perceived slight to the Prophet Mohammed
  
• Use strategically placed space mirrors to spell "Death To Israel" in letters fifty miles high
  
• Design an electron microscope to locate Arab governments' contributions to modern science
  
• Fill the planned Mars mission with leading Islamist luminaries such as Sheikh Hasan Nasrallah of Hezbollah, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran and Osama Bin Laden. But don't arrange a return trip. (Sorry) (not)